Every time Erik made love to Kayla on his own -- and he was well aware he was about to enter double digits, which thrilled and amazed him, but made him ashamed he was counting -- he faced the same dilemma. He wanted to make it last, make it good for her and savor every moment in case it turned out to be the last time. But his body wanted everything he could get, as quickly as he could get it. Wanted to pound into her hard and fast, animal, mark her as his, take Jason’s smell off her skin.
He wasn’t proud of his body in those moments.
This time, though, he felt a little different. She’d actually said it -- told him she loved him. He’d been resigned to always being second choice for her. He knew she loved Jason, and had since probably the first time they’d locked eyes. He was just… extra.
But maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he was more to her than the guy she could have sex with when Jason wasn’t around, or Jason’s second dick when the three of them were together. Yeah, he’d thought about it that way before, more than once. Now he felt bad about it. Not that he hadn’t felt bad about it before, but he felt even worse now.
She loved him. He could swear he could almost taste the change on her skin as he let his tongue explore her nipples, the space between her breasts, the indentation at the center of her collarbone. She arched her body up toward his, bringing her belly against his, bringing her sex up to rub hot against the front curve of his pelvis. Her legs went around him, and he could feel the heat and the wet where she was so ready for him he could smell it.
“God,” he murmured, and she opened her eyes to look at him, one hand brushing his cheek.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He said it automatically, but it wasn’t what he wanted to say. “No, not nothing. You’re just…” He looked her in the eye. “I love you.”
Her smile melted him. She leaned up to kiss him gently, on the mouth, then on the forehead. It could have been patronizing, but it wasn’t. It was sweet, tender, and he closed his eyes at the flood of feeling that moved through him.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.” Her voice was quiet.
He just shook his head. He didn’t want to tell her it was okay, although it was, and he didn’t want to say anything that would make her feel bad. Instead he cupped her breast and pressed his hips between her legs, bringing her a little closer to him.
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